If you are getting married, couples therapy may be the furthest thing from your mind. With a recent engagement, you are likely on cloud nine, enjoying every minute of your time together… unless of course, you are like the majority of couples that find wedding preparation incredibly stressful. There is a misconception that the act of getting married is all sunshine and smiles. While you may feel that way once you have walked down the aisle and prepare to say your vows, the months leading up to this special event can be so stressful that some people begin to suffer from anxiety. This stress can manifest itself in unhealthy ways and lead to pre-wedding fights. If you are in this situation, do not despair. It does not mean that your relationship is doomed or that you are failing. What it does mean is that you need help. You need therapy.
Why couples therapy?
You are in this together. Planning the wedding requires both of you but more importantly, you are preparing for a life together. This is probably the first major event that you have had to work towards jointly. You are making decisions together, dealing with budgets, extended family, and the need to balance your own individual work priorities with joint tasks and activities. How you interact with each other now can have positive or negative impacts on your long-term relationship. When you come to therapy together, we can help you to establish the tools you need to work through these issues together in a way that is uplifting and positive.
When you come to our office, we will meet with you to discuss what concerns you have and what challenges you are facing. Our goal is to empower you to successfully manage the things that are causing you stress and the emotions that you feel from them. While we cannot snap our fingers and make life situations go away, we can help you to have a positive perspective and handle them better. A few of the issues we normally address are –
#1 Sharing in tasks.
Taking two people that are used to doing everything on their own and teaching them how to work together takes time and effort. It is not as simple as it seems so therapy is one way that makes it easier.
#2 Dealing with in-laws.
Your own parents may cause you unnecessary angst. Learning to deal with your partners and treat them like family is a challenge that can directly impact how much you enjoy your wedding, and more importantly – your marriage. We can show you how to create boundaries that make the transition more enjoyable.
#3 Managing expectations.
Your wedding will be a spectacular event and remembered for the rest of your life. Make sure that your expectations are on what matters to you and your partner. We can help you with this, and that does not mean that you lower your expectations, only that you focus on what is most important to both of you. Since most couples get too busy to really identify what the priorities are for each other you may even be trying to focus on something they do not care about like you think that they do. Our sessions can help with your communication and your expectations.
In couples therapy, we help you to learn how to communicate in a way that is healthy, how to truly hear each other, and how to manage your feelings and emotions. These tools can help you now and throughout your life together.