I want to talk to all of you who feel like you could use some strategies for being successful with your attempts at online dating. Today is part 2 of our series about online dating. In part 1 I strongly encouraged you to get out there and give it a try especially if you’re serious about finding someone new. There are 3 things that you can do to make this process tolerable and effective for you. Remember, you don’t have to love online dating to get something beneficial out of it.
Strategy 1
The first strategy is to really focus on this word “discernment” as your key approach to online dating. I want you to be as discerning as possible. You are not trying to convince everyone to like your profile; that is absolutely not what you’re going for here. When you create that profile it’s really going to be beneficial if the personal description that you write about yourself is as accurate as possible. I always recommend having a second person take a look at what you’ve written and ask them, “Does that really sound like me?” In fact I do that all the time with clients to help them craft an online dating profile that actually really represents them. What you’re trying to do is attract the people who will really be interested in that authentic description of you, not some fabricated description of you.
Strategy 2
Secondly, I am going to invite you to adopt a thick skin. Online dating isn’t always fun. You’re going to wink at people who will not wink back. You’re going to start great online dialogue with some people who will just go MIA when you least expect it. There will be setbacks and it’s really important that you use that thick skin so that you are not taking those things personally. In fact, you can thank that individual for revealing their true colors to you sooner rather than later.
Strategy 3
Third, I really want to encourage you to tune into your intuition as you start interacting with people and going out on dates. Learn how to really honor your intuition and incorporate the feedback that it’s giving you. My clients who date most successfully are the ones who are really in tune with whether or not this person is a compatible fit for them and whether or not they want to see them a second time.
The image that I have when I think about online dating is that someone has set a giant bucket of jewels in front of you. The majority of those jewels are actually just cubic zirconia, but inside that bucket there are a handful of 3-karat diamonds. Your job is to filter through and identify which ones are cubic zirconia so you can toss them to the side as efficiently as possible while continuing to search for the diamonds. I think that is a very accurate metaphor for online dating. We are going to have to filter out some of the fake crap in order to find some of the true hidden gems. Good luck out there!
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