As Flourish turned 17 this past month I have been meeting with multiple couples every day for 17 years now. I thought I would share some of the fun and quirky facts with you of what it’s like specializing in couples.
Quirky reality number 1: The secrets that are shared in your office are way more interesting than anything on television.
Quirky reality number 2: Who else gets to talk to people about sex so frequently?
Quirky reality number 3: The hours of the day that you spend sitting inside the tension between the two partners when they are at odds with each other is immense. That part interests me, I do have those moments where I ask myself “wait why did I choose this again?”
Quirky reality number 4: This one’s important. When attending a cocktail party and meeting new people DO NOT disclose that you are a couples therapist. There is something about women and the access to relationship expertise that is powerful. Here’s what ends up happening. The women end up kind of cornering you in the back of the house or in the kitchen while one of them is refilling your glass of chardonnay very frequently and sliding it in front of you while the others pepper you with all of their relationship questions hoping you won’t notice that an entire 90 minutes have gone by.
Quirky reality number 5: It takes a lot more skill to work with couples than it does to meet with clients one-on-one and it keeps you mentally on your toes. Two people walk into the room with seemingly opposing goals and needs, they’re both feeling discouraged and are on the verge of throwing in the towel, there are 60 minutes on the clock, GO. It is your job to create hope and to find the synergy between what they both need. It is part of the most demanding part of my job, but because love is so fundamental in all of our lives, it is also part of the most rewarding part of my job.