Today I want to share with you 5 of the processes that the most thriving couples do on a regular basis that keep them happy and humming along.
Being in a long-term relationship is very much like being on a windy road through life. You want to make sure the two of you are going in the same direction at the same time and you also need to be in constant collaboration about the twists and turns along the way. These processes are designed to keep communication dialed up, to make space for resolving conflict, and also to give you some fun time together to make sure that you are connecting. Here they are:
Thriving couples use check-ins with one another on a regular basis. They either do this organically by saying “hey can we talk?” or they may have ore-scheduled dates and times that they set aside to check in with one another. This is a mechanism to make sure that there are not any unresolved misunderstandings or issues that are piling up that could potentially be creating resentment.
Thriving couples have connection rituals that they engage in on a regular basis. Maybe they meet in the backyard by the fire pit and share a beer after the kids are in bed most nights of the week. Maybe they go out on date nights 2 times per month. These connection rituals can be inside the home or away from the family but they need to occur on a regular basis.
Thriving relationships have robust physical intimacy. Now of course your physical connection in your love life is going to ebb and flow with the events of life and the stress levels under your roof. However, it is ultimately a sign of relationship health, and it’s important that it gets tended to.
Thriving couples have retreated with one another. Whether it’s sneaking away for a weekend or being able to leave town for longer, they step away and make special time to spend with each other.
This one is vitally important and perhaps the most difficult one to learn. Thriving couples know how to resolve conflict with one another. They know how to approach it productively, they know how to show up with one another to make that conversation reparative, and they know how to move forward from there. That is a skill set that a lot of couples work with me to gain, being able to resolve and manage conflict productively instead of destructively can be something that you may need to have someone teach you. That is the other process that those thriving couples have mastered that keeps them humming along that road, together.