Having your first child can be enough to warrant the need for couples therapy. This is one of the biggest life changes that any person or couple will go through. While it is a joyful time, it is also incredibly stressful, exhausting, overwhelming, and downright difficult. Since you know that becoming a parent is hard on everyone, don't be afraid to ask for help. It might just save you personally and save your marriage.
Few people realize just how drastically their life will change once they have a child. Many of these changes are absolutely beautiful because it means there is a new person in your life to love and someone who will love you unconditionally. Having a child can be one of the most incredible life experiences. However, that is not to diminish the fact that this is uncharted territory and your life will change in almost every way. From the small things like not being able to go to the bathroom without thinking about where your child is, to figuring out how you will manage your career goals and how you will spend time together as a couple without your infant in the room, parenting requires constant reflection and change. The challenge is that most people do not plan for this change and instead of making decisions along the way, are reactive. This can lead to you or your spouse being dissatisfied with your current relationship status. This is not to say that you no longer love each other or want to be together but that life has basically taken control of your relationship.
When you come in for couples therapy, we can help you take some of that control back by discussing life away from its demands. This gives the two of you the opportunity to discuss what is important to you and what you want. For example, knowing that life will not be exactly as it was, what are the things you miss the most and that you really want to change? In some cases, this might be spending time together on a weekly basis without the baby. In other relationships, it is time with friends that people miss once the baby is born. Regardless of what you feel that you are missing or struggling with, once it has been identified, we can then talk about ways to meet those needs. The key, however, is to start talking about them. Ignoring your discontent or frustration is unwise because the patterns and behaviors you establish now are likely to continue as your child grows.
Call for Couples Therapy
Scheduling an appointment for help is one of the best things you can do to save your relationship. While not all couples go through difficult times while their children are young, the changes made to the relationship can ultimately lead to conflict once the children are gone. Instead, you can take this opportunity to establish a new dynamic that works for both of you so you can thrive and grow together.