If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably noticed that the pandemic is not awesome on intimacy. The lack of privacy and the amount of together time can really work against eroticism and desire in a relationship. (And of course, stress is always the biggest libido killer.) So, it wouldn’t surprise me as a relationship expert to find out that maybe things haven’t been amazing at your house.
Subjects that are often broached in couples therapy are romance, connection and intimacy. If it is time to get back on track, I want to suggest a couple of things. Last weekend, I had the opportunity to do a little one-night staycation with my husband at a great place twenty minutes from our house. While it was not my ideal vacation, it was definitely better than nothing. It was amazing the amount of relaxation and reconnection that can happen in just a day or two!
So, the first thing that couples need if they want to make each other a priority again is they need a little privacy. Somehow, someway, they need to find a way to schedule some time alone, and I’m talking about a big chunk of time, not just a couple of hours. See if you can swing a whole evening. See if you can swing a whole day. See if you can swing a whole weekend. I know that the pandemic makes all of the childcare arrangements much harder, but see what your household can pull off. Secondly, couples usually need some kind of activity that helps them decompress and relax. So do you love going snowshoeing together? Do you love getting a massage together? What is it that the two of you can do to un-wind? Third of all, reconnecting emotionally and getting caught up on one another’s inner world is vitally important. In fact, that is one of the magic ingredients that then makes intimacy kind of an organic byproduct.
So your formula is: schedule in some privacy, find an activity that is decompressing, and then make sure that you are present for one another for a healthy dose of reconnection. See where things go from there!
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR NEAR ME
Perhaps you are already attempting to implement strategies to reconnect, however you feel like you are in need of some additional support. It may be time to consider engaging in marriage counseling. If you would like more information about Flourish’s counseling services, reach out to us at 303-455-3767 x. 5 or fill out our contact form today.