Be careful with where you get your relationship advice.  It is one of those easy-to-find commodities that you can get in any $5 magazine at the grocery store. When you are in a relationship, you are bound to get plenty of solicited, and often unsolicited, relationship advice from people who are older than you and feel like they have all the secrets to a successful relationship or marriage. The bottom line is, there is a lot of great advice out there, and there is also a lot of falsehoods. Truth is, every relationship goes through ups and downs. It is important during all of those times to maintain your level of relationship, and if you find that the relationship is struggling, either on your end or your significant other’s, it is time to seek professional help and get relationship advice from people who actually know what they're talking about.

The difference between the life/experience advice offered from friends and family and the advice you get from a professional is this: professional advice is given based on psychology and an understanding of how other people's relationships work, specifically yours. On the other hand, the advice given to you by friends, family, and co-workers is advice based on their own experiences and their own understanding of how their relationships work or fail. It is important to understand this difference and seek out the proper help you need if you actually want relationship advice. Think about your relationship like a $300,000 Lamborghini and ask yourself: Would you let Uncle Dave, who once took a shop class, change the spark plugs?

One of the strongest pieces of advice you will get both from your friends and family and from the professionals is the importance of making each other a priority in your life. You will often hear people giving the relationship advice that you communicate with each other and talk to each other. This is a concept that is age-old and has been misunderstood since time immemorial. Hollywood has done little to improve people's idea of what communication looks like, by successfully mocking the idea of talking about your feelings and other concepts that actually do work when you are in a relationship. However, communication is only one aspect of making your significant other a priority in your life. If you are seeking relationship advice, especially from a professional, chances are that either one or both of you is not giving the other one the attention they deserve. For example, we see couples all the time who do not make time a priority. They do not insist on a date night without the kids, they get caught up in work, they don’t spend time with each other, and a million other reasons. All these send a message to your spouse or significant other that they are not your number-one priority. Time is literally the currency of relationships, so it is important that you spend quality time with each other and make sure your significant other feels like they are still your number-one priority.

For help with your relationship, call and schedule an appointment with Flourish Counseling & Coaching.