Today I want to talk to those of you who may be in a long-term relationship and feel like your love life is lacking some serious variety these days. Catch yourselves among good company. Sad, but true. In a lot of long-term relationships, couples tend to settle into a sexual interlude that becomes the norm of their sex life. It’s usually very routine. It happens in this room at this time of day, we do these positions, and then we’re done.
It’s okay for the normal routine to be the bread and butter of your love life. However, after a while at least one if not both partners are going to begin to yawn with boredom. The problem with doing the same thing in the bedroom over and over again is it’s like taking the same drive to work every single day. The scenery isn’t new, less neurons are firing, and it’s less exciting and sometimes less fulfilling.
Here are 3 other types of sexual interludes that couples can weave into their routine to add more variety and hopefully more fulfillment.
The first one is the quickie. The quickie can be fun for injecting in a little bit of spontaneity. However, the quickie isn’t normally highly emotionally connecting so it’s limited in that capacity.
The Experimental Interlude
The other type is having an interlude that’s really experimental or where you intentionally bring in some variety. That can include a broad number of things. It can include anything that both of you are comfortable with. Now, this is where new neurons start to fire. It can be very exciting, and it can also help ignite passion.
Finally, the last type of sexual interlude is what the researchers call romantic lovemaking. This looks like how the movies portray it. There’s music, a big expanse of time, maybe a little bit of massage, and just a lot of emotional connectivity. There was a large research study done on 1500 couples and they found that couples who engaged in romantic lovemaking at least once a month reported that it did really positive things for their relationship and helped them stay connected.
Those are just a few more ideas of things that you can weave in. However, if you and your partner are not feeling very connected right now or if you and your partner are generally bad at talking to each other about sex, then I would caution you not to leap too boldly into experimental sex or romantic lovemaking. Both of those come with a really high risk of vulnerability and that has to be navigated carefully.
The place where most couples really need to start before they can spice things up in the bedroom is to first focus on being a better best friend to your partner. That really has to come first before you can expect your partner to want to make your every sexual fantasy come true.
To learn more about our Hot Monogamy program that we incorporate into our work with couples, CLICK HERE.