shutterstock_74106799Let’s face it, sometimes the people we have the most communication problems with, are those that are closest to us. We expect that we will be able to have positive communication with those that we love because quite frankly: we love them. It is a normal human desire to want to understand your loved ones and to be understood by them in return. It is natural to want to be able to have conversations without fighting or conflict, to be on the same page and be in sync. Unfortunately, most people suffer from some form of moderate or severe communication problems. If you have problems communicating with a few people, chances are that you are going to have some level of difficulty communicating with most people. The habits that we incorporate into some of our relationships tend to be a large part in most, if not all, of our relationships. We can help to give you the tools you need to communicate more effectively so that you can improve the quality of your existing relationships while preparing to have better ones in the future. Some common communication problems include: Not actually hearing each other. It is incredibly common for two or three people engage in a conversation but no one is actually hearing what the other people are saying. Instead, everyone is hearing what they want to hear based on their own existing perceptions and thought processes. For example, if you think that it is hot outside and your sister thinks that it is cold, no matter how many times she tells you that it’s cold outside – it will not penetrate. Your mind is already made up. In order to genuinely hear each other, everyone in the conversation needs to set aside preconceived notions and simply listen. Hearing something that conflicts with your beliefs. How can you communicate with someone who has a different set of beliefs than you? Whether religious, political, social or generic, you are likely to speak with people who have different views. You need the tools to communicate with them, and they with you. For example, if you believe that someone is a truly good person you may find it difficult to understand that the someone close to you feels that this same person caused them harm. It isn’t necessarily that they are right and you are wrong or vice versa, but that you each have had unique encounters or experiences, and that needs to be respected. Otherwise, you could both feel abandoned by each other. Yelling instead of talking. You need to be able to converse in a calm fashion. As soon as the volume is increased, or yelling commences, the other person is likely to shut down. Whether you are the one that likes to yell or you are on the receiving end of this, it is wise for you to seek professional help to find ways to communicate without the need for aggression. Remember that the person you love is not the enemy, but yelling at them will make them feel like they are. These are only a few of the communication problems that we address on a daily basis. As counselors, our goal is to provide you with the tools you need to succeed and flourish. Communicating effectively is necessary to do so. Call for help with your communication today.