If you’re in a long term relationship, you have absolutely noticed that the chronic stress and the ever-changing dynamics with the pandemic is absolutely working against relationship fulfillment on a lot of levels. Oftentimes, after a relationship has gone through a really difficult time, it’s natural for exhaustion and detachment to occur. In that space, it’s easy for two partners, who would otherwise be deeply committed to each other, to slowly start to drift apart.
Sometimes because they do not have the energy to stop the drift. So that’s the challenging news. The good news is that you are one of the primary influencers in your relationship, and you individually can have an enormous impact on the direction that your relationship trends this year.
If you would like to lean in toward reconnection, instead of leaning out towards distance, then here are three strategies I’m going to encourage you to take action on.
- Voice your intentions to your partner, and ask them what their intentions are for the relationship this year as well.
- Ask for more of what you do want. If, for example, it has been impossible for you two to have quality time alone, let your partner know “I would love for us to a better job this year of making that happen.”
- Work together to create a plan that is clear with definitions. Then, pull in the resources that you need.
A number of you are going to need to enlist the support of a couples counselor this year. Especially if resentment and misunderstanding are happening frequently. However, others of you may simply need to enlist more babysitting resources or more of a schedule of when you can have quality time together. Whatever it is you need, put together a plan that works for both of you. Define how often those things need to happen, and then leap into action so that there is reconnection taking place, slowly but surely.
If you and your partner have been feeling stuck in the negative pattern of disconnection and/or conflict over the course of the pandemic, please keep Flourish Counseling in mind as your resource for relationship support. Our team of relationship experts can support you and your partner on you road back to reconnection. Learn more about our couple’s services here.