Today I want to have a little talk with all you ladies out there. I want to dispel 3 common myths that I hear come out of the mouths of women on a regular basis when it comes to their love life.

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Myth #1

Because I’m aging and my body is changing, I’m less desirable to my partner. The good news is, there is empirically proven research out there that the most passionate lovers are the ones who simply own what they have. This is not about fitting into the pant size you were before you had the kids. It’s about acceptance, self-love, being a confident lover and owning what you have. From that place, real passion can occur in a relationship.

Myth #2

A woman’s libido will always decrease over time and there is no way of getting around it. Let’s pause here. I want to point out that if you buy that and swallow that myth whole, it’s going to cause you to lower your expectations. That’s not a good thing.

Yes, women’s libidos do often fluctuate and decrease over time after child birth and as we age. However, there are very proven and effective ways that you can work around that. There are some things that work. Some of the greatest inhibitors to a woman’s libido are actually stress and disconnection with her partner. So, we need to re-frame that one and come in at it from an entirely different angle. Don’t just buy into the fact that it has to be that way and your love life is going to go downhill. That’s a crappy thing to buy into.

Myth #3

I vomit in my mouth a little bit every time I hear this one, but I have to say it out loud. “I know I should try to be intimate with my partner more often to be a better partner for them.” When we are only interested in intimacy because we start feeling insecure about whether or not we’re a good enough partner for them. That’s always going to be a lower quality interaction between you and your partner.

What I would love for you to ask yourself instead is, “What kind of an interlude would light me up?” What might I possibly need more of?” So very often, women are hungry for more touch, affection, and conversation. That verbal dialogue is what gives them connection.

So, what if you could just ask a different question and instead, ask yourself “What would I really be interested in?”

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