If you have been feeling unfulfilled lately, the first thing that you’re going to need to do is identify the root cause of your malaise before you know what you can do about it. Sometimes it’s crystal clear what’s bothering us. Maybe you work for a boss who’s a total jerk or maybe you’ve been unhappy in your marriage for a number of years. Sometimes it’s obvious.

However, a lot of folks come to me in a general malaise, feeling unfulfilled, and it’s really not clear to them why they don’t feel happier. Here is a 4-question inventory you can ask yourself if you find yourself in that situation.

Question #1

Is it possible that you’re going through a major life transition of some kind? During transitions, our self-identity can often feel very fuzzy and unfocused and we have to reassess, “Who am I now?” “What matters most to me now?” “What can I do to make myself feel more fulfilled?”

Question #2

Is your career and the environment that you work in a good fit both for your strengths as well as for your personality and values? Or does it feel more like an empty paycheck?

Question #3

Is your love life currently at its highest and best state possible? If not, those unmet emotional needs in our personal lives often start to breed discontentment, malaise, and depression. Whether it’s that you’re single and you really don’t want to be or perhaps you’re in a relationship, but you don’t feel happy there.

Question #4

Do your life goals that you’re working toward truly align with your unique set of values? Often times, we are pursuing things that we believe we should pursue or we’re following the norm. “Hey, all of my friends are buying houses,” or “hey, all my friends are having children.” We might start participating and planning toward those same activities just because it’s what’s being done even if it isn’t something that we personally want and that we personally value. Are you working towards the things that matter most to you or have you just been following the trends?

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