Today I want to talk to you about those negative storylines that so many of us have running through our heads. Sometimes it’s a negative story that we’ve made up about ourselves like, “I’m not actually deserving of that promotion,” or “I’m really unattractive.” Sometimes it’s a negative storyline we’ve made up about our partner. “They always let me down when it comes to parenting the kids,” would be an example.
Are these stories accurate?
The first thing that I’d like to let you know is, just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. What if some of the storylines are wrong? What if you made them up trying to fill in the blanks, but what if they’re not actually true?
How do these stories affect our energy?
A lot of times those negative storylines will drain your energy any time you regurgitate them. They will cause you to go to this pessimistic place where your options for moving forward seem pretty limited. “Well, I’m not deserving of that promotion, so I’m not going to go back to my boss and advocate for it,” for example. “I don’t really feel like I have many options.”
In actuality, we always have an abundant number of different options and choices available to us. However, anytime our energy is drained and we’re looking through that pessimistic lens, we fail to see or recognize all of the choice points that are actually in front of us.
Updating the Storyline
Even if it’s a storyline about your partner that was absolutely true at one point in time, what if it’s not true anymore? As soon as your partner starts showing you evidence that that storyline is outdated, your job is to update the storyline as soon as possible. “Okay so when the kids were little, my partner let me down a lot when it came to parenting, but I’m noticing that now, they’re helping out a lot more and it’s a whole different chapter.”
The sooner you let go of that old storyline and update it, the sooner the relationship can repair and rebound from whatever has been holding it back.
Food for thought
Are there any storylines kicking around your head about yourself or your partner? Do you regurgitate them with frequency? Could it be time to edit some of those storylines or maybe even let them go?
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