This week I wanted to share with you some of the habits that we know help relationships thrive. From the research on happy and successful couples, successful meaning that they stay together long-term and they have a fulfilling relationship, we know there are 4 things that they do well.

The 4 Habits

The first is, they manage their conflict with each other well.


Secondly, they’ve learned how to turn towards each other to connect and they’ve learned how to reduce the amount that they turn away from each other. That allows them to have more emotional availability for one another.

Third, they share some fondness, admiration, and positivity with each other.

Fourth and finally, they work together to make life dreams come true. Whether that’s starting a family together or purchasing a new property, whatever dreams they may aspire to.

Here’s the challenge

Now, the challenge is that the first two of those strategies are really hard. If you’re not managing conflict well in your relationship or you have a low level of connection to begin with, those things in and of themselves can become all-consuming and can stir up a tremendous amount of angst, misunderstanding, loneliness, frustration, you name it.

Fortunately, those two things are skills that can be taught. They don’t come naturally to all of us. A lot of us didn’t have great role models and parents to teach us how to do those things. So, you can hire a coach to teach you how to manage conflict better and teach you how to more frequently and easily turn toward your partner to connect. If you’re able to do this, what it does is it frees up the bandwidth in the relationship so that you can focus on items 3 and 4. How do we share fondness, admiration, and positivity together and what other dreams do we want to pursue together?

If you’re ready to learn how to manage conflict better in your relationship, CLICK HERE to schedule your free initial consult with one of our amazing coaches/therapists.