Having a baby changes everything and sometimes attending couples counseling can help to make the transition easier. When pregnant, friends, family and books all focus on what is happening to the body during the actual pregnancy. These sources cover subjects such as what delivery is like and what to expect in the first couple months of baby’s life.
Few sources, however, will prepare a couple for the changes that are going to happen to their life together once the baby is born. This lack of information can leave the majority of new parents entirely unprepared for how to deal with the transition from being a couple to parenthood.
Change is inevitable
The very act of introducing a third person into the home and family dynamic is going to change things. Now, instead of it being about what you and your partner want to do, where you want to go, what you want to eat, etc., this small child comes first. Not just infancy, but throughout most of the childhood, the child’s needs come before everything else. Raising a child can lead to a complete overhaul of routine that a couple is familiar and comfortable with.
Even parents who do a good job of incorporating their baby into the existing routine will find it challenging to do things like go to a favorite restaurant or spend time with friends on the weekend. The main reason is that children are not always adaptable or able to be integrated into all social or work environments.
It does not have to be bumpy
Just because change is inevitable and par for the course after the baby has been born, does not mean that it has to be stressful or bumpy. With the proper set of tools and expectations, new parents can thrive in this season. To get these tools, it helps to visit our clinic for couples counseling.
During the counseling appointment, both people can express how they are feeling, fears, concerns and challenges. This is important, especially after such a significant change like having a new baby. Too often, couples are unable to openly share with each other because the response was not positive and there is a concern over how to work through these challenges together.
However, since these challenges are not going to go away, dealing with them as a united couple is going to be the best method. By uniting together, people will be able to deal with what life is like with three instead of two.
Grace, room and time are important
Too much pressure is placed on new parents and this can add to a couple’s stress. There is a crazy expectation that becoming a parent is going to make someone a fully informed, calm and capable parent when the truth is, it takes time to learn how to be a parent and it takes time to learn how to parent together.
Rather than allowing that pressure to get to you, give yourself the grace to grow, room and space to do so and the time necessary. Do not set expectations too high to meet but, instead, move through life with purpose, regardless of how long it takes to feel settled in this new role.
Call for help
Becoming a parent is hard. There is no way around that. However, it can be easier with help and support. This is something that your partner can provide and is something that we can provide the two of you during couples counseling appointments.