Having marital problems is one of those conditions about which there have been a million magazine articles written. You can find gurus and experts on marital issues everywhere on the internet. What is important to note is that if you are having them, you need to seek help from a professional so it does not spiral and end up ruining your marriage.
Even Couples In-Love Can Have Challenges
There are specific reasons that can lead to you having marital problems, even if you are very much in love with your spouse. The most common among these marital problems is communication or lack thereof. Most people do not understand how important it is to continue to communicate with your spouse after you are married.
Communication forms the basis of most relationships. When you do not communicate properly, this leads to misunderstanding, which means one spouse not understanding the other person's point of view. The less you talk, or communicate, the more likely it is that you will not understand, or will misunderstand, your significant other’s point of view. We also find that a person is often simply not willing to accept the existence of an alternate point of view. This can lead to a lack of communication because of the unwillingness to take the time to genuinely listen to what the other person has to say, to care about what they have to say, and to make an effort to understand a point of view that may be diametrically opposite from their own.
It is important that if you are going to truly and specifically know each other, which is the only basis upon which a marriage can work, you have to be willing to look at the world through the eyes of your significant other and not only to your own world view. This is perhaps one of the most complicated things to do and is the basis for a lot of marital problems. It is extremely hard to set aside your own ego and your own point of view in order to help resolve some of your issues as a couple.
Frequently, a cause of misunderstanding in relationships is unresolved situations that you bring with you into the relationship. This is known as baggage. Baggage can be emotional, it can be a failure to communicate, lack of empathy, poor conflict resolution skills, etc. Baggage plays an important role in marital problems because it directly impacts your ability to resolve conflict. It has a way of bringing your past into your present and affecting the decisions you make in your current relationship. Some examples include preconceived notions and ideas about sex, how to properly raise children, how you relate to and handle finances, the roles of each spouse, and self-esteem issues. It is important to understand that if you have unresolved baggage from your past experiences, this will create an invisible barrier between you and your spouse.
Marital problems typically occur most frequently with people who are not able to communicate around their own barriers and allow unresolved baggage to form a defense mechanism against the person they are supposed to be most open with. Visiting us for couples therapy will allow you and your spouse to work through these issues so that you can build a strong relationship.