If you are someone who suffers from low libido, the first thing you want to do is investigate any individual issues that might be impacting you negatively. Are you under an extreme amount of stress? Have you been feeling depressed? Are there possibly any medical issues that could be impacting your libido or hormonal changes as you grow older? Any or all of those things could be at the root cause of a low libido.
The second thing that you want to be asking yourself is, “Are there any problems or challenges with your partner that could contribute to a low libido?” We really need to like our partner and how they treated us this week and how they acted toward the kids this week before we want to make love to them. When there is a lack of connection in a relationship, a lack of understanding, or a lack of respect, that can also decrease one’s libido.
For a lot of people, those two categories will really bring to light the root cause of what’s underneath their low libido. However, if you find that you would answer ‘no’ to both of those things, “I don’t have any individual issues and I don’t have any relationship problems, but I’m still challenged with a low libido,” then it’s time to use your brain to take charge of the situation. Someone with a high sex drive allows their physiology to remind them of when they want to have sex, right? If you don’t have that benefit, then you have to use your brain to drive the process. Ask yourself such questions as, “How long has it been?” “Do I want to have sex with my partner today?” “If so, what can I do to start getting myself in the mindset to make that happen? “Maybe I should take a shower after I go to the gym so I’ll feel more attractive” “Maybe we should make sure the kids don’t stay up late tonight so we have some time alone, etc.” When you have a lazy libido, you really have to put your brain in charge of getting the party started instead.
For more insights and tips, we use a really powerful curriculum here called Hot Monogamy that helps us gain some powerful insights into this complex thing called human sexuality. CLICK HERE to learn more about this program.